I am at loss for words. I am sad, mad, devastated, and confused. I cant even express how much we all love you. I can remember the first time I met you, you were so bright and full of joy. You could always bring a smile to my face, you loved my kids, and most of all you made my best friend happier than I had ever seen her. You took great care of her and Jayde, not to mention you treated my children (your godchildren) like they were your own. You did anything in your power to make us happy. It never crossed my mind that deep down you were in so much pain.
The morning of November 23, when I lost my son, you lost your godson, you were there. Right next to me standing over his lifeless body devastated over him passing. I remember you holding my hand and hugging me so tightly and letting me know you would be there for me every step of the way. You cried with me. You spoke at his funeral, such kind words. Full of love for him and our family. You were here for us everyday and constantly checked on us to make sure we were holding up. The first and last words to me was always " I love you Traci". What happened? The tables have turned. Now I am here to grieve for my son who I love more than life itself, and you who I love more than words can express. Its not fair. I am now in the position you once were in as I hold your family tight and do everything in my power to keep them together. Let them cry, and most of all be there with them every step of the way.
I am mad. You did the most selfish thing I can possibly think of. Why didn't you call someone? There are a ton of people that love you and would have helped you. You took the easy way out and now we are all here to suffer. Your precious baby girl is now left with no father. I can only imagine the very last thoughts that ran through your head. I know you wished you could have changed it. You loved your family and never wanted to cause them pain. I am just so confused.
I know you and Granny Chic are up there taking care of my baby. Hold him tight and I promise to do the same to your babies. We will meet again, and until then you watch over us and continue to love us like we love you. Godspeed Cupcake Face. I miss you so much, you hold a very special place in my heart. You took a piece of my heart with you on your flight. Your spirit lives through Madalyn Lee who is a spitting image of you.
