An Old Letter to Alex

Dec 21, 2008

Alexander Lee:

I miss you more than words can explain. It hasn't gotten any easier and my normal routine is not normal anymore. There is a void. Any empty swing, an empty car seat, clothes that you and Xavier wore to match no longer exist. I have to learn to make a new "normal" during the day, as hard as it is, its a must for your brothers. There is not an hour in the day that you are not on my mind. I look at your picture every night before bed. I sleep with your cut up outfit you wore that night/morning you grew your wings. It still has a faint smell of you in it. Its my comfort when I sleep. I talk to you before I close my eyes. Tell you how much I love and miss you and how I would give my all to have you back.....I know that wish isn't coming true. I only had a short 15 weeks with you. I will never hear you say "Mommy". But I did however get to hear you laugh,. I saw you smile and you brought so much joy to more people than you can ever imagine. People have come from everywhere to help our family. Prayers, thoughts, cards, food, you name it and its been done. All because of the life's you touched. There were so many people that loved you and will continue to love you forever and always. Alexander Lee, Mommy loves you with all her heart.

Love, Your Heart broken Mommy.

***********************************************************************************